This week is my first week of being a full-time Toronto wedding photographer! Before I officially left my old job, lots of people were asking me “are you excited? Are you nervous?”. Let me just say this once and for all: Excited, yes. Nervous no. The reason for that is that I’ve been not just waiting for this moment for a long time, but there was a lot of planning for this to happen. It didn’t just happen. I didn’t just wake up one day and said “OK it’s finally time to go full-time!”. It took months and months of hard work, pain and planning to get to this point. Because of it, there wasn’t one cell in my body that was nervous at all to be finally taking the leap.
But more than anything, my overwhelming feeling was that I was relieved. I mean, yes I was excited but because there was so much hard work involved it felt like it was a long time coming. When December 31 rolled around, I couldn’t believe that it was finally here. There were so many countless long nights working til 3am and so many tears. At one point in the summer, I couldn’t bear it any longer. Emotionally and physically, I broke down and knew that overworking myself had to end. I had to make it end.
In society today, we tend to get so caught up with doing too much. I totally understand it though – there’s so much in this world to do with so little time! We want to be a master of everything. Let’s do it all and have it all. I know that for myself, I want to bake perfect pastries, perfect my Sirsasana pose, dance ballet to Swan Lake, finally run 10K, finally learn to swim (properly), learn to paint in watercolour, learn calligraphy, learn Japanese, Spanish and French, pay off my mortgage, buy our own vacation home, travel and photograph the world, all whilst trying to juggle my full-time job, starting my wedding photography business and planning a wedding.
Finally taking the leap meant leaving my full-time job in the financial industry. It was a great job and I’m really thankful to have had it. I worked with so many amazing people, learnt a great deal about business and developed myself into who I am today. I’ve always been naturally introverted and shy, so the experience of working in the financial industry and dealing with clients helped tremendously. It also meant that I could own my own home and fulfil my passion in building my business which I’m so happy to finally be doing!
This week has felt a little strange for me because I’ve been so used to multi-tasking and working every moment that I can (whilst cooking, eating, binge-watching Netflix, catching up on Masterchef, and working until very late at night). It’ll be hard to switch my bad habits over and learn new good ones. While I still want to learn to do all those things I mentioned earlier, my first priority is to LEARN TO RELAX. I need to learn to take time to myself. I need to learn to know when it’s too much. I want to learn to enjoy the simple pleasures like enjoying a cup of tea in the morning with my fiancé and enjoying each other’s company. No multitasking and responding to emails. No wondering about how I can be more productive. Just enjoying each moment – at last.
Thank you to everybody who has supported and encouraged me in getting to this point! Thank you to my clients who have believed in me and shown me so much love! I’ve said this so many times but I honestly couldn’t be happier to be doing what I do. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a wedding photographer and capturing love stories. It gives me SO much joy! It is my absolute DREAM JOB to work with all of you! But most of all, thank you to my fiance, Elliott who has been there for my meltdowns, my lesser sides and just picked up all the pieces that I just couldn’t do myself. Everything we have done, we have done together. So can’t wait to continue to do everything together well into our future.
Now, where’s that tea?
Photo Credit: Krista Fox Photography